This is grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and neuroscience. It requires sitting down and actively engaging with thoughts to build counterarguments against the attacks. When you do it right, after a few days, you will find your answers.
Fact #1 - Your mind has the superpower to aggressively script the worst-case scenario.
Fact #2 - Your mind, it also comes with the exact same power to script the best one.
This becomes a critical item when you are going through events like an agonizing breakup.
This is one of the most powerful hacks to your nervous system.
If you do deep inner work, you will be able to use radical positivity and optimism to turn agonizing, nightmarish days into a smooth, stable, and painless ones.
Most fellows can't even imagine what this looks like.
The pain lives in your thoughts and assumptions.
You don't have to make logical sense when you choose your thoughts, future pace, or make assumptions. These are just assumptions. But they affect you deeply and directly impacts how you feel, and also your physical health.
The effects are hard to believe.
Nothing ever helped me (and many others I know) end the suffering of breakups.
There's more.
Optimistic people are 30% less likely to suffer from heart attacks or strokes, not to mention experiencing a significantly happier life.
This is the most impactful inner work you can do on yourself to set yourself free from suffering. List your thoughts.
Audit your thoughts, assumptions, and how pessimistic you are.
It's one of the gifts of being anxious attachment.
The negative thoughts are your default.
They become you.
If negative, you become the pain.
Most fellows are negative, pessimistic, and in pain without even realizing.
Write down the most ridiculously optimistic version of the thoughts that are hurting you.
Look into this. It will weaponize you like no other skill.
Some of the resources are here.